February 2012
38 posts
2 tags
Plans? We gots 'em!
Pizza? Ordered!
Feet? Up!
Lounging clothes? On!
Sex? Done tapped that ass!
Chemically induced inebriation? Beer in hand and vape charged!
Bring it on :)
Why yes, sir, you may indeed have my business card...
I’m not sure it’s gonna do you any good though, dick. My bosses aren’t gonna listen to you and when all is said and done, you’re still gonna be Cap’n Von Fuckface, leader of the the Flying Douchbags.
Virginity Meme
I lost my virginity at the tender age of 16 (about 1 month before I turned 17) to the girl I was dating at the time. Her name was Miriam and she was more experienced than me (read: had done it before with two previous boyfriends) We had been dating for probably 3-4 months. We were hanging out at her house, which we often did as her parents would leave us alone in her room for as long as we...
That time when you went to your buddy's French...
:)
MMMMMMMMM Sandwiches
;)
Work Meme
I work, if you didn’t know, for The Fruit Stand. I’m a jack of all trades. Salesman, trainer of customers and employees, and mobile device technician. I know it’s retail and the stigma that lies therein, but fuck that cause I like it :)
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I got big plans for today
tallestmidget:
Wait for delivery
Hopefully, it arrives in time for me to go to hot doug’s
Rip DVDs and CDs
Use delivery item
Make Money
Fuck Bitches
Well, it didn’t come in time to go to Hot Doug’s. C’est La Vie. I also can not use it yet as my landlord will be coming over around 6:30p to fix a leak he mostly fixed on Monday. And I ain’t saying anything more ;)
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I ain't gonna lie
spiralingsidewayz replied to your post: I got big plans for today
Look who bought himself a Tenga!
I had NO idea what you were talking about. I assumed sex toy cause, let’s be honest, it was YOU making the joke. But I didn’t know what exactly one was. Now I do. Thanks for that. Perv :)
I got big plans for today
Wait for delivery
Hopefully, it arrives in time for me to go to hot doug’s
Rip DVDs and CDs
Use delivery item
Make Money
Fuck Bitches
1 tag
cleapow asked: I am in your askhole. It's pretty bright in here. Do you bleach it?
Seriously?!
Nothing?! You people are LAME!! No askhole love for me, it seems! Even with anon on. I am disappoint.
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Oooh boy!
tarpo replied to your post: How would you fit it all in one pic?
panorama baby
Hook a brother up!
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How would you fit it all in one pic?
tarpo replied to your post: I’m tipsy, tired and bored
Peen on the way!
:)
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I'm tipsy, tired and bored
Send more booze, cuddles or noods ;) Also, anon is always on
Who just finished his taxes?
This motherfucker. Getting a combined $900 and change back from the feds and the stateys. Boom, baby.
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I could never be a doctor, esp an emergency room...
As I was riding the elevator down from my GP’s office, I overheard a conversation between three ER docs. They were talking about another doctor, a woman, who had been working the night shift last night. She has a sepsis patient who came in and ended up having a major PE and died. They were discussing how much that must have sucked for her.
At first I was pissed at them for being so...
1 tag
8:40a Doctors appt when you work 12-9p
Suck. That is all.
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Heading home after drinking with Dan's Ballsi
It’s really a shame Dan couldn’t make it
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2 tags
Watchanarchyandscotch:
In which I introduce you to Evil Hypnotic Robot Owl.
MUST. DO. WHAT. RICH. SAYS.
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Jehova's Witnesses arrived this morning.
kolchak:
We had a fruitless chat about 2 Kings: 23, when Elisha summoned two bears out of the woods to maul 42 children to death after they called him bald.
They weren’t familiar with it.
Nor did they heed my advice to “consider the lilies,” who don’t proselytize to anyone.
Always know whence you speak.
We can just add this to the “Reasons Kolchak is cooler than the rest of...
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Today's to do list
Vacuum
Dust
Clean bathroom
clean old desk and get rid of it
Straighten up office after desk is removed
clean bathroom
RIP DVDs
Lets see how I do
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January 2012
86 posts
House, while high
The best
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Taylor Says:
With all the budget cuts in government jobs, I’ve taken to treating many aspects of daily office life like an old school RPG: You enter the copy room. You see four drawers to your right - search drawer one - You find 2 large binder clips and 4 large paper clips - take all - you have added 2 large binder clips and 4 large paper clips to your inventory - Turn left - You are attacked by a...
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We listened to him read Kitchen Confidential on...
spiralingsidewayz replied to your post: Watching Anthony Bourdain’s new show The Layover: Amsterdam
Have you ever read any of his books? Good stuff.
Awesome-sauce
Watching Anthony Bourdain's new show The Layover:...
“…attracts over 3 million visitors a year, a large number of them, let’s face it, attracted by the freedom to smoke high test weed as one pleases and the famous red light district; where you can fuck an eastern European prostitute in the pooper at competitive prices.”
I LOVE THIS MAN!!!
Fuck it. Ima go get a sammich
IT’S MY DAY OFF! I DO WHAT I WANT!!
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So, about this whole eating a sandwich thing
mrsliznessdiscopanda replied to your post: And then I remembered how good a shower feels after “eating a sandwich”
i like that you call it eating a sandwich. we used to always say we were talking to elvis.
Its a How I Met Your Mother reference. That’s what Older Ted calls it in stories to his kids when he recalls a time he and Marshall were getting high.
THE MORE YOU KNOW....
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SAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNDDDDDWWWWIIIICCCCHHHEEESSSSSS
sparkgrrl658 replied to your post: And then I remembered how good a shower feels after “eating a sandwich”
stop talking about sandwiches! i’m 99.9% sure what you mean, but i don’t do that any more and i just really want a nice sandwich.
sandwich
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And then I remembered how good a shower feels...
Which, by the way, the more I say, the more I want to go get a sandwich.
And now, as a reward, Ima "eat this sandwich"
Boom
Goals for today
tallestmidget:
Take out recycling and trash
Do dishes
Clean kitchen
Run dishwasher
Do laundry
Put laundry away
Bills etc
Clean bedroom
Clean bathroom
Clean living room
Clean out and get rid of old useless computer desk
RIP DVDS
This list MAY spill over into Wednesday, my next day off from today. We shall see :)
Good enough for one day. I finish on Wednesday :)